The Only Thing to Fear is Fear Itself....(and maybe small airplanes)

Yesterday we attended a beautiful outdoor wedding at Sundance Ski Resort where for my best friend Alisa's son and his bride (they are both ski instructors). The weather was almost as beautiful as the couple. Almost. I think it's the first wedding I've ever attending while wearing jeans, a sweater, hiking boots and a pea-coat. I'm a huge fan of weddings, but not so much a fan of being cold, so I dressed for the weather instead of the occasion.

The Meadow at Stewart Falls Trail-head, Sundance Ski Resort

The vows they exchanged were beautiful and personal. As always, weddings provide a time of reflection for your own life and love. (And for me, a small twinge of "Why weren't wedding dresses this stunning in 1984!?") I think all most of us were trying to do some rendition of Lady Diana's incredible gown. But we all know there really is no possible way to re-create that dress with it's 25-ft. train, and the puffy sleeves of my dress fell quite short of Diana's, although mine was beautiful in it's own simplicity.

1984. The dress isn't quite a Princess Diana dress, but it was pretty!

The groom has his pilot's license, and in fact I believe their first date was when he took her flying in a small airplane. He also proposed to her after a flight. Kids these days.....so creative and so romantic! The wedding reception was held at the small airport hangar where he received his pilot's training. Alisa, (who had also planned my wedding reception back in the day when we were eighteen and nineteen with a teeeeensy tiny budget), turned this hangar into the most incredibly beautiful venue. The girl's got mad wedding planning skills!

After lots of visiting and dancing, the happy couple was ushered through a long line of friends and family holding sparklers cheering them as they walked toward the small airplane and took their first night-flight as man and wife. The engine sputtered at the first turn of the engine. My heart started to race. I looked up at Dave, and asked him if we could skip watching them take off.

I can't remember a time that I haven't been afraid to fly. I know that's completely irrational, illogical, and that my chances of being injured or killed in a vehicle are far greater than in an airplane. I also know the power of a mother's influence. As a child, I would often ask my mother, "Why don't you and Daddy go back to Hawaii to visit where you used to live?" and her answer, "Oh....probably because we can't drive there." Mama did so many things fearlessly in her lifetime. She packed up her family over and over again and moved to so many different places around the country. Having to make all new friends, and form a new community for herself and her children each time. She could stand up on a stage and perform

I was a nervous little kid and a total Mama's girl. Still am!

memorized lines in plays in front of large crowds of people. She took on the care of my father while he battled dementia and cancer. She cared for a step-daughter and step-son-in-law, sleeping in a bed near each of them as they both passed within just a few short days of each other, tending to them each as though they were her own birthed children. She refused to wear a mask. But given the choice, she could not, would not, get in an airplane.

Today as we were getting dressed for church, I asked Dave who had been asked to give the opening prayer for our worship service, why it was he was never nervous to speak in front of a crowd of people for his work, but to say a prayer in public and in front of a friendly audience made him a bit more apprehensive. Why is it that he can go fly in an airplane large or small and even fall asleep during the flight, but I on the other hand am filled with dread at the thought of even taxiing down the runway. What fears do we knowingly or unknowingly pass on to our children? What strengths and confidences do we pass on?

I felt moved by the Holy Spirit to share my testimony in church. Normally I would let my fear of public speaking keep me firmly planted in my seat. But I really wanted to share my feelings and my gratitude for so many blessings I have received. I especially felt the need to express my love for my Savior. That through Him, we can be saved and can live with Him and with our families after this life on earth is done. I can have confidence and overcome my fears, trials and challenges, because He is my hope and my strength. I feel His love for me. This is also something my mother taught me.

I feel Mama with me every day. Love her so much!

From now on I'm going to start doing things that in the past I have found challenging or difficult. Like math. And paying better attention to a map and keeping better track of where I parked the car in a parking lot. Maybe not eating so much chocolate could be on that list. I can hear my mother's voice telling me I can do ANYthing I set my mind to. As for flying in an airplane.....I'll start with taking a picture next to it. Baby steps.